Oh, brave hero

"To put it simply and clearly for you, Master, a drinking party spontaneously broke out right after that… Well, that's just par for the course with dwarves."

Apparently, once someone starts drinking and people gather around, a drinking party just happens. And this was in the kitchen, no less. There were already snacks prepared, the guest of honor (me) was right there, and I was already wasted. At that point, there was no way it wasn't going to turn into a drinking party.

"And then, Master, you started gathering older dwarf women, starting with Grandma, going around telling them how cute they were and that you wanted to eat them up and asking for the socks they were wearing. That's how we ended up like this."

Whoa. Drunk me is way too active, as always. I mean, I did hit on Harumikazuchi-oneesama that one time too.

"By the way, since you were gathering all the grandmas, the men felt too awkward to come near. That part was easy, at least."

Well, yeah. From my perspective it's a loli harem, but from the dwarves' perspective, I was surrounding myself with elderly women. They probably didn't want to get close. Especially since these were their relatives. Like, could you really make a move with your grandma watching? Yeah, even dwarves couldn't handle that, it seems.

"Still, was I really just collecting grandmas?"

"You seemed to be avoiding men while gathering women who weren't getting any attention. That's probably how you ended up with the grandmas…"

Ah, yeah. Makes sense that grandmas would be left out at a party that doubles as a matchmaking event, if you know what I mean. The guys would all be going after the young, cute girls.

Just then, Aishia's grandma peeked into the room. When she spotted me, her face lit up with joy. What's with that? So cute.

"Ah… Y-You're awake, Kari-chan. G-Good morning!"

"Oh. Good morning, Grandma."

"… Nngh, ugh, this is so embarrassing at my age! Here, take this!"

She patted my shoulder lightly to hide her embarrassment. Wait, what's with that maiden-like reaction? So cute. Oh, a ring? Wow, it has a beautiful angel relief on it. How lovely!

Then other dwarf girls came over when they heard I was awake. Probably the girls I had gathered around me yesterday. Oh, water? Thanks… Yeah, I half expected it to be booze, but it was actually water. Thank goodness.

"Kari-chan, drink this. My late husband used to say humans get hangovers, right? How cute. Oh, and actually this cup is handmade by me, so please take it."

"Ah! No fair! I'm gonna make something for Kari-chan too! Let me borrow the workshop! Wait here, I'll make something right away! Oh, would a knife be okay!?"

"Kari, let's hang out again, okay? Come visit my village too. Oh, I'm available anytime. And here, this is a pouch I made from the dragon materials I got yesterday. Think of it as me and treasure it, okay?"

"Ugh, if only Kari-chan had a (bleep), I'd have had your babies. I feel like I could have another ten kids with you, Kari-chan. Here, take this hair ornament. It's my masterpiece!"

Whoa, I'm super popular, aren't I? Hehehe. Well, all these girls are apparently middle-aged or elderly by dwarf standards. And on top of that, four of them apparently came rushing to the party from other villages specifically for the dragon materials.

Oh, you made me a knife? That was fast! And it fits my hand perfectly. Thank you all so much. I'll treasure them! Love you!

'By the way, from a goddess's perspective, granny socks are totally welcome as long as they're embarrassment-filled! Looking forward to your delivery! Hehehe!'

Please don't suddenly talk to me, Goddess. You startled me. Also, stop with the "hehehe," you're ruining your beautiful girl image.

Then the village chief called out to me.

"Oh, brave hero! Thanks to you, the grandmas are all in great spirits. As expected of the brave hero!"

"Hold on, how did I go from guest to brave hero? I don't remember pulling any holy sword."

"Well… from our perspective, someone who woos all the grandmas and has them fawning over her is nothing short of a brave hero. Making all five of the Five Elders your local wives? Are you even sane?"

So that's the kind of "brave hero" we're talking about. I see… Wait, local wives?

"Um, hold on. Did I get married or something?"

"The grandmas asked you for dragon materials and you happily handed them over, then they gave you handmade masterpieces in return, right? That ring, cup, pouch, hair ornament, knife… if you bought any of those normally, each one could buy you a mansion in human lands. Yeah, the more I look at them, the more ridiculous they are. What even are these enchantments? The Five Elders really aren't called that for nothing…"

"Wh-What kind of enchantments do they have!?"

Ring: Substitute Ring. Takes a fatal blow in your place once.

Cup: Poison-Purifying Goblet. Turns even a poisonous swamp into clean water. The downside is it turns alcohol into water too.

Pouch: High-Capacity Pouch. Despite its appearance, it can hold about as much as a small shed.

Hair Ornament: Concealment Hair Ornament. Temporarily makes you harder for enemies to detect.

Knife: Auto-Dismantling Knife. Flies on its own and automatically harvests materials.

… Each one is apparently national treasure-grade.

Wow. I wasn't planning to sell them since they're gifts from girls, but these are incredible.

And giving a handmade masterpiece as a gift is the dwarven way of proposing. I forgot about that!