Drinking Contest

Karina-chan here. A pirate picked a fight with me.

Is that something I'm even allowed to buy? Well, Staff-san, what's the policy!

 

 

"Heeey, Staff-san. They told me to check with the guild if I'm ever unsure about what's okay to buy or sell, so let me ask — am I allowed to buy a fight?"

"Please don't…"

"Then, since this whole mess started with alcohol, I'd like this guild tavern to buy up all of my booze. Is that okay? At market price is fine."

"… Understood. We'll buy it."

Alright, profit secured! I unloaded all the alcohol I'd bought from Sati-tan!

Dealing with the Merchants' Guild means I don't need to worry about being ripped off.

"So with that, please purchase the booze from the guild instead, okay? Um, what was your name again… Gomen-desu-sanSorry-san?"

"Haaaah!? The hell did you say!"

Uh-oh, the pirate's pissed. Well, at least he's calmer than a street thug — he hasn't started swinging yet.

"Silence, cur."

I shot him a glare. I also used Spatial Magic to freeze his body for a second.

I kept just his legs locked so he couldn't lunge.

"…! M-my legs won't move…!? Am I being intimidated!?"

Yes, that's the reaction I wanted!

Having seen what I wanted, I released the lock.

"Now then, Gomen-desu-sanSorry-san? How about we have a little contest here? A drinking contest sounds about right. I hear some good liquor just came in."

"A contest!? Fine, I'll take that fight! A pirate's done for if he lets himself be looked down on!"

"Loser pays! If I lose, I'll pay with my body!! I can even swear it to the gods!"

"Bring it on!"

And so, with my oath to the gods made, I deliberately challenged him to a drinking match.

Bear witness, o' gods. It's fine — I have a surefire plan. In fact, it's my only plan.

Ever since Sati-tan flattened me with booze, I've been thinking up countermeasures.

With this method, no matter how much alcohol goes into my mouth, I won't get drunk—

—because Spatial Magic, that's why!

 

*

 

"Haa, I'm feeling a little flushed. Barkeep, another!"

"… Mon… monster…!!"

Heh, I ended up draining about a barrel of wine.

Oh right — I'm drinking wine while Gomez is drinking the booze I procured. As merchants, we agreed to use each other's stock for the contest.

What a transparent little scheme to gain an edge with higher alcohol content! But since I was the one who proposed the match and had no objection to that term, I accepted.

Obviously, as you can see, I'm not drunk at all!

The flush is probably just from the smell of the alcohol!

Curious how someone with my terrible alcohol tolerance can drink like a fish? It's simple.

I use Spatial Magic to swap the booze for water just before it reaches my mouth, and then the instant the water hits my stomach, I shunt it back into storage space.

Thanks to that, I've successfully stockpiled booze in my storage space — all on Gomez's tab!

I'll savor that stash later when I'm alone!

Maybe I could bottle it up and sell it, too. I swapped it before my lips touched it, so it's not like it's been drunk from.

Red wine and white wine, down the hatch — yay.

"Oh? Oh? What's wrong, are you giving up already?"

"… blrghlblrgh…"

"Ew, gross. Don't puke up perfectly good booze."

And with that, Gomez spewed liquor from his mouth and nose before collapsing. Acute alcohol poisoning? Don't ask me — not my problem.

Good kids, don't copy this reckless drinking!

"Yaaay, my win! Barkeep, put the tab on this guy like we agreed!"

"… Right."

"Hey, you lot! Let this be a lesson — don't mess with me. Anyone with complaints can settle it with a drinking contest!! Gahaha!!"

"Grr… ngh…"

"Y-you'll pay for this!"

At my words, the pirates shouldered Gomez and left the tavern. The lounge felt so empty afterward. What a waste to leave all that cheese and those snacks lying around. Can I take the untouched ones?

Actually, if I order more snacks now, will it go on his tab?

"Isn't that dine-and-dash, though?"

"We'll deduct it from the Merchants' Guild account."

The Merchants' Guild sure is convenient. Ehehe, thanks for the treat.