Drinking Contest

Karina-chan here. A pirate picked a fight with me.

Is that the kind of product I'm allowed to buy? Well, Staff-san, what's the policy!

 

 

"Heeey, Staff-san. They told me to ask the guild if I'm not sure what's okay to buy and sell, so let me check — am I allowed to buy a fight?"

"Please don't…"

"Then, since this whole mess started with alcohol, I'd like this guild tavern to buy up all of my booze. Is that okay? At market price is fine."

"… Understood. We'll buy it."

Alright, profit locked in! I unloaded all the alcohol I bought off Sati-tan!

Dealing with the Merchants' Guild means I don't need to worry about being ripped off.

"So with that, please purchase the booze from the guild instead, okay? Um, what was your name again… Gomen-desu-sanSorry-san?"

"Haaaah!? The hell did you say!"

Uh-oh, the pirate is pissed. Well, at least he's calmer than a street thug since he hasn't started swinging.

"Silence, cur."

I shot him a glare. I also used spatial magic to freeze his body for a second.

I kept just his legs locked so he couldn't lunge.

"…! M-my legs won't move…!? Am I being intimidated!?"

Yes, that's the reaction I wanted!

Since I saw what I wanted, I released the lock.

"Now then, Gomen-desu-sanSorry-san? How about we have a little contest here? A drinking contest sounds about right. I hear some good liquor just came in."

"A contest!? Fine, I'll take that fight! A pirate's done for if he lets himself be looked down on!"

"Loser pays! If I lose, I'll pay with my body!! I can even swear it to the gods!"

"Bring it on!"

And so, swearing to the gods, I deliberately challenged him to a drinking match.

Bear witness, o' gods. It's fine — I have a winning plan. In fact, it's the only plan.

Ever since Sati-tan flattened me with booze, I've been thinking up countermeasures.

With this method, no matter how much I put alcohol in my mouth, I won't get drunk—

—because spatial magic, that's why!

 

*

 

"Haa, I'm feeling a little flushed. Master, another!"

"… Mon… monster…!!"

Heh, I ended up draining about a barrel of wine.

Oh right — I'm drinking wine, and Gomez is drinking the booze I procured. As merchants, we agreed to use each other's stock for the contest.

What a transparent little scheme to gain advantage with higher alcohol content! But I proposed the match, and I had no objection to that term, so I accepted.

Obviously, as you can see, I'm not drunk at all!

The flush is probably just from the smell of the alcohol!

You're curious how someone as weak to alcohol as me can drink like a fish? It's simple.

I use spatial magic to swap the booze for water just before it reaches my mouth, and then the instant the water hits my stomach, I shunt it back into storage space.

Thanks to that, I've successfully stockpiled booze in my storage space — on Gomez's tab!

I'll savor that stash later when I'm alone!

Maybe I could bottle and sell it, too. I swapped it before my lips touched it, so it's not even pre-drank.

Red wine and white wine, down the hatch — yay.

"Oh? Oh? What's wrong, are you giving up already?"

"… blrghlblrgh…"

"Ew, gross. Don't puke up perfectly good booze."

And with that, Gomez spewed liquor from his mouth and nose and collapsed. Acute alcohol poisoning? Don't ask me, not my problem.

Good kids, don't copy this reckless drinking!

"Yaaay, my win! Master, put the tab on this guy like we agreed!"

"… Right."

"Hey you lot, let this be a lesson — don't mess with me. Anyone with complaints can settle it with a drinking contest!! Gahaha!!"

"Grr… ngh…"

"Y-you'll pay for this!"

At my words, the pirates shouldered Gomez and left the tavern. The lounge space felt so empty afterward. What a waste to leave all that cheese and snacks lying around. Can I take the untouched ones?

Actually, if I order more snacks now, will it go on his tab?

"Isn't that dine-and-dash, though?"

"We'll deduct it from the Merchants' Guild account."

The Merchants' Guild sure is convenient. Ehehe, thanks for the treat.