The Smashed Magic Drug

When I went to the backyard after hearing there was a dispute happening, I saw a flustered Niku, a repeatedly bowing Maiodoru, and a prostrating Shikina.

"I am so terribly sorry!"

"E-e-even if you apologize, that won't bring the medicine back! Besides, I-I am the one at fault. Wh-what should I do… what should I do!? I'm so sorry, Kuro-sama!"

"U-um, uh…"

"No! The blame is mine!"

"No, it's mine! Ahhh, Kuro-sama, I'm so sorry…"

"Um…"

A dis… pute…?

I have no idea what the heck happened, but in other words, they're quarreling over whose fault it was?

Just then, my eyes met Niku's.

"G-Goshujin-sama!"

Bam!

With that, Maiodoru and Shikina looked at me as well.

Then, with teary eyes, sobbing with runny noses, they clung to me.

"Wh-wh-wh-what should I do, Father-in-Law!?"

"Please help me, Master!"

"Mai-sama, could you not casually call me Father-in-Law? Uhh, anyway, could you just explain what happened…?"

"Th-then allow me to explain from my perspective…"

"No, from mine…"

"Ahh, alright. In that case, let's compromise. Ni… Kuro, explain what happened. You two can fill in as needed."

I called her Kuro instead of Niku since Maiodoru was present. She nodded.

 

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"I'm happy that we could sleep together last night, Kuro-sama."

"It was to improve our friendship…"

Kehma never came back that night, so Niku and Maiodoru chatted together, took a dip in the hot spring together, and slept in the same futon.

According to Maiodoru, there was no problem at all since they were engaged.

"With this, we've established a fait accompli."

"Fait accompli?"

Niku tilted her head in confusion, but Maiodoru simply smiled without giving an answer.

Setting aside the fait accompli talk, they had genuinely gotten closer, even changing how they addressed each other.

"So, what did you think of sleeping with me?"

"Mm, Mai, you smelled nice."

"… Wha, um, m-my smell? How embarrassing… K-Kuro-sama, you smelled nice too."

Her face turning red, Maiodoru fidgeted.

Watching her blue ringlets sway, Niku recalled the [Hairdressing] magic the maid had been using.

It was a magic she'd never seen before, so she thought Nerune might be happy to hear about it.

Then, as if remembering something, she took out her watch. It was the golem watch she'd received from Kehma.

"It's time for my daily practice."

"Kuro-sama, what is that?"

"What is what? … Oh, this? This is a clock I got from Goshujin-sama."

"Such a small clock… Is it from the dungeon? As expected of Kehma-sama."

Maiodoru decided to come along for practice as well. They stopped by the dining room to get breakfast sandwiches before heading to the inn's backyard together.

From the backyard, they could see a church that definitely hadn't been there the day before.

"U-um, Kuro-sama. What is that building? It wasn't there yesterday, was it?"

"…? I don't know. Goshujin-sama must have done something."

Seeing Niku casually continue her warm-up exercises, Maiodoru calmed herself thinking "I suppose that's just how it is."

"It is Goshujin-sama, after all."

"Well, it is Kehma-sama after all."

No matter how you looked at it, having a building appear in a day… no, overnight, was strange, but those magic words settled it.

"Oh, Kuroinu-dono! Training time, huh! Oh? Is this young girl your friend? She doesn't look like a child from this village, though."

"Mm. She's Maiodoru, from Tsuia… Mai, this is Shikina, my junior."

"Oh, nice to meet you. My name is Maiodoru Tsuia. I am Kuro-sama's fiancée."

"! Excuse my discourtesy. This is the first time we have met. My name is Shikina Kukkoro."

When Mai introduced herself, Shikina straightened up and responded.

"Kukkoro? Could you perhaps be the [Beast King] Dyne Kukkoro-sama's—"

"You know of my father? I am his daughter… More importantly, what is this about being Kuroinu-dono's fiancée?"

"It is exactly as I said."

By the way, Shikina's father, Dyne Kukkoro, earned the title of [Beast King] because he commands so many summoned beasts that their numbers rival an army corps.

"If you are Dyne-sama's daughter, does that mean you are a summoner as well?"

"… I'm a failure in that department. Master Kehma is currently retraining me."

"My word! To have connections with the Kukkoro family as well, as expected of Kehma-sama."

"Rather, it is more surprising that the Tsuia family's princess is engaged to Kuroinu-sama."

Maiodoru and Shikina were getting along well together, so Niku started her practice swings in the meanwhile. Her wooden practice knife made whooshing sounds as it sliced through the air.

"… By the way, Maiodoru-dono, you aren't actually a man, are you? No, I mean, I have personally confirmed that Kuroinu-dono is a girl…"

"I'm a woman. However, I actually have something like this, so there's no problem."

Saying that, Maiodoru took out a blood-red magic drug from her [Storage]—she had taken out [Futanaru].

"Is this a potion?"

"It's a medicine that throws one's sex into chaos."

"… It's a magic drug of the Chaos God!? That's heresy! As an imperial knight, I cannot overlook this…"

"Eh? Is this, um, an illegal drug?"

"… It's not exactly illegal, I think, but well, it's in a very grey area… Many of the Chaos God's magic drugs are addictive, and depending on type and concentration, some are illegal… Judging by this one's transparency, it definitely won't be permanent, so determining that is… Ah! That's right, the knight order commander, Sally-sama, happens to be here right now! Let me ask her about it! So please, lend me that drug."

Shikina grabbed onto the medicine bottle. Naturally, Maiodoru resisted.

"Eh, no, th-this is… I can't marry Kuro-sama without this, so could you please pretend you didn't see it?"

"I cannot do that! But once we confirm there are no problems with it, I will make sure to return it."

"N-no! You might not give it back then!"

The two of them tugged back and forth on the bottle… Neither was willing to let go.

"Grrr, you're stubborn…"

"I-if you could just pretend you didn't see it, that would be enough. No one would be troubled, and everyone would be happy, right? Isn't this what they call healing in God's shade?"

"In order to walk with my head held high under the sun, I must have Sally-sama make the judgment here…"

Crack.

A crack ran through the bottle.

"Huh?"

"Kyah!?"

At that sound, Maiodoru reflexively let go, causing Shikina to stumble from the force she'd been exerting. The bottle slipped from her hand and flew high in an arc through the sky.

 

＊ ＊ ＊

 

"… And then the medicine shattered and got absorbed into the ground?"

In that case, is the planet a futanari now?

No, we're within the dungeon's domain. In other words, the dungeon… that is, Rokuko…?

No no, if that had happened, I would have noticed something off during that lap pillow. Wait, hold on. Let me think for a moment.

"No, well…"

"It's just, um, well."

Niku and Shikina looked away in extreme awkwardness.

"What's wrong, cat got your tongues? … Mai-sama, what happened?"

"… Well, the [Futanaru], it… poured down onto Shikina-sama's head."

Hmm, I see. In other words—

"Masterrrr! I don't know how to use a penis!"

It seems that the disappointing elf became even more disappointing.