Side Story: Soto, the Statues, and Niku

Soto is the daughter of the Goshujin-sama Niku serves. In other words, the Ojou-sama.

And so, to clean the Ojou-sama's room, Niku pushed her way into the [Storage] dungeon.

Niku held master authority over Soto's dungeon as well, so she could even enter the Master Room inside the Dungeon Core.

Judging from Soto's hoarding habits, Niku figured the place was bound to be filthy. But when she stepped into the Master Room, what awaited her was a mountain of stones with statues scattered among them.

"Munch… munch…"

"… Soto-sama, what are you eating?"

"Ah, Niku-onee-chan. This is a snack."

So saying, Soto showed Niku a stone. The sort of stone you'd find lying around anywhere. But the part Soto had bitten into had become, well, shaped like an animal, somehow.

"… That's a stone, right?"

"Humans can't eat them, but for me they're like rice crackers or chewing gum. Just eating them is boring, though, so I carve them while I eat～."

So saying, she bit off a few more mouthfuls. Each time she set her mouth to the stone, the carving grew steadily more refined. Like an animal, somehow. She held it in her mouth, gnawed at it, then pulled it out with a pop, and there sat the head of some small, mouse-like creature.

When she gave it a further lick, the spot became so finely worked you could almost make out every individual hair. (Though at a glance it looked like she was merely licking it clean, her tongue was vibrating to gouge away the fine details.)

Once she cleaned off the leftover saliva with [Purify], it was already an exquisite statue. Seeing how it had turned out, Soto huffed through her nose with a satisfied "mufu～."

… Carving stone with her mouth alone, and shaping it in such fine detail… how was that even possible? Niku felt a faint twinge of awe.

"… And what animal is that?"

"It's going to be a flying squirrel! Munch munch munch."

"You're very dexterous."

"It's the fruit of special training!"

"Special training?"

Niku cocked her head to one side.

"There's a theory that if you can tie a cherry stem into a knot inside your mouth, you're a good kisser."

"Mm?"

"So I figured, if I can make a statue inside my mouth, that means I'm an amazing kisser!"

"I see… I see?"

It felt like the logic had taken more than a few leaps somewhere, but in short, it was the manifestation and crystallization of an ulterior motive, most likely.

At the very least, it was special training only Soto could manage. Ordinary humans can't eat stones, after all.

"Did you make the other statues this way too?"

"The ones lying around in this room, yes. Ah, but the ones I sell in the Karisoto District are mostly things petrified with a basilisk."

That said, she apparently went to all sorts of lengths, like making them drink poison beforehand so the petrification wouldn't wear off.

She seemed to sell goblin statues as well, and since it'd be dangerous if a statue you had on display suddenly turned back into a goblin and lunged at you, the precautions made sense.

"Anyway, I'm going to start cleaning. Please move to another room or step off to the side."

"Okaay."

"… Incidentally, Soto-sama. That one isn't here, is she?"

"It's fine. Leona-san is over at the hideout."

"She'd just pick a fight if she ran into you, Niku-onee-chan," Soto said with an easygoing laugh as she withdrew to the corner.

After that, Soto gnawed at stones for a while, watching Niku set about her sweeping with a brisk "right, let's get this cleaned up," and then, just as one statue was completed, she let out a little sigh.

"Aand done. It's a good one, so maybe I'll put it up for sale."

"Nice work."

The statue really was exquisite. Exquisite enough that you'd think it had been petrified with a basilisk.

If its quality was high enough to be indistinguishable even mixed in among the others, she'd probably put it up for sale.

"… Come to think of it, you sell colored statues too, don't you? Do you paint these?"

"The painting I outsource to the orphanage over at Maiodoru-chan's place～. I'd rather not set up something new and muscle my way in, you see. Besides, Maiodoru-chan lets me gush to her about my sweetheart, too."

She apparently held tea parties fairly often and gushed away.

… Soto was surprisingly sociable.

The way Niku saw it, apart from being romantically involved with Leona, Soto was a perfect Ojou-sama.

Personality, temperament, cunning, drive. She'd inherited every bit of it squarely from her parents.

"I've finished over here, so I'd like to clean over there next."

"Ah, then I'll move the pile of stones. Hup."

She snapped her fingers with a pachin, and the mountain of stones teleported to the spot Niku had just cleaned.

"That was instant."

"It's inside my dungeon, you know? Of course I can arrange things however I please."

"Yes. Then I'll clean over there."

"… Actually, you don't really need to clean at all, you know? I could just absorb the trash and dust."

"Keeping an eye on how you're doing is part of my job too, Soto-sama."

And yet, for all that, dust had piled up on the floor of the Master Room. Some of it was no doubt from her hauling in stones, but Soto was the type who wouldn't tidy that sort of thing unless told, and even when told, wouldn't really do it.

So Niku doing the cleaning was just about right.

"… Hm. Soto-sama, did you take a bath?"

"You've got a sharp nose, Niku-onee-chan, being a dog beastkin. For an ordinary nose it wouldn't be a problem at all, you know. I'm cute, after all!"

"Once the cleaning's done, it's bath time."

"… Just use [Purify], won't you～. It's such a pain."

"I think it's less work than making statues with your mouth."

There was a perfectly good hot-spring inn right here, with all the baths you could ever want. What a waste, Niku thought. But for Soto, this was simply where she'd been born, so having a hot spring was 'normal.' It takes life experience to learn that the things which are 'normally' around you hold any value.

"… Good grief. You're such a child, Soto-sama."

"I-I am not! Fine then, I, a cleanliness-loving beautiful girl, shall wash every last corner of your body, Niku-onee-chan! With this tongue!"

"… Please go easy on me."

And so, afterward, Soto took a bath together with Niku.

True to her declaration, that grime was licked away by the very tongue that could carve stone, yet not the faintest scratch was left on Niku's skin, or so they say.