An Unsteady Balance

 

"Wow! Hey, hey Yuuki, did you see that just now!? There was a really big kid walking! And a really tiny one too."

"Yes… that must be Lufelle and Tia."

While gently stroking Rin's blue hair, Yuuka nodded.

"They seem so close despite being so different in size."

"Yes, those kids have always been close."

"But, you know… they looked really sad."

Yuuka nodded again.

"Another friend they were very close to recently… disappeared."

"Is that so…"

Rin looked at Yuuka with her innocent eyes and suddenly smiled as if she had a great idea.

"Then I'll become their new friend!"

Yuuka widened her eyes in surprise, then smiled gently.

"Yes… I think they would be happy about that."

She answered.

The first person Rin forgot was Yuuka.

She forgot her face, then her name the next day—and on the third day, she forgot of her existence entirely.

Even when I told her she was the daughter of Yutaka and Aqua, Rin just tilted her head in wonder.

It didn't take long for her question to change to, "Who are Yutuka and Aqua?"

And, today, she'd finally forgotten Lufelle and Tia.

Despite their noticeable presence, a giant and a tiny fairy, Rin was as excited as if she was seeing them for the first time.

Who said that human hearts are shaped by memories and experiences? Regarding Rin, that was completely off the mark.

No matter how much she lost her memories or what she couldn't recall… like how water was always water regardless of the shape of its container, Rin was always Rin.

This was both a joy and a deep sorrow for us.

"Hey, hey, Yuuki, have you seen Shig?"

Rin, having forgotten Yuuka, seemed to think she was Yuuki.

Even now, they didn't look that much alike, but perhaps she subconsciously felt some connection.

"Shig married Honoo and went back to the lizard people's village, right?"

Yuuka kindly played along, acting as Yuuki. She adeptly responded to even the stories of Rin's time as an exchange student, convincing even me for a moment that she was really Yuuki.

At Yuuka's response, Rin stared back at her with eyes like glass marbles. Even from behind, I could see Yuuka's expression stiffen and her body tense up.

"… Ah, right. That's true."

Rin answered with a soft expression, relieving both Yuuka and me.

Rin would forget not only the past but also today's conversation and ask the same thing tomorrow.

But her reaction might not always be the same.

"Who's Honoo?"

Soon enough, Rin asked that.

We had gotten used to being asked the same things every day.

But being reminded of another person disappearing from her memory… it never got easier, no matter how many times it happened.

"Hey, hey, Mentor. Did you have a fight with Yuuki?"

One day, Rin asked while laying her head on her arms on the desk, idly swinging her tail.

"A fight? No, why?"

"Because you seem a bit distant."

"Do I? I'm normal."

"Nuh uh!"

The little girl puffed up her cheeks in dissatisfaction.

"You just became a couple and all."

Ah… is that where she is now? Nostalgia made me squint my eyes in reminiscence.

"Well, the bond between a couple is something others can't easily understand."

I wonder how it was with Yuuki. I remember clearly what we talked about and did, but I'm not so sure how others saw us.

"You know…"

Rin seemed unsatisfied with my answer, pouting her lips.

"Mentor, you're not cheating, are you?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her words.

Is that so? She's still a girl, after all, I thought belatedly.

"Do you think I have that kind of nerve?"

"Surprisingly, maybe?"

The girl tilted her head with a serious expression, making me laugh again.

"Hey, hey, Yuu…"

Another day, as usual, Rin brightly called out a name but suddenly stopped.

"It's not… Yuuki. It's Yuuka."

Her voice was heavy and low as she muttered, covering her face with both hands and shaking her head slowly.

"Sorry, Yuuka, I…"

"It's okay."

Her memories wouldn't simply disappear.

Sometimes Rin would come back to herself.

But that wasn't a happy occasion. It was probably more painful.

"Yuuka… Yuuka. I'm sorry, I…"

For both of us… and for Rin.

"Yuuka… Yuuka, Yutaka, Lufelle, Tia…"

As if tracing her lost memories.

"Ultramarine. Luka. Shig. Yuuki. Professor Nina… Mentor…"

—Desperately trying to hold on to them.

But those memories kept slipping away.

"… Hey, Mentor, I can't find Shig anywhere. Do you know where he went?"

Day by day, Rin fluctuated between a girl and an adult, slowly going back in time.

 

＊　＊　＊

 

Then, on a gentle spring afternoon…

"Hey, Mentor. Can I ask you something terrible?"

The moment I saw her eyes, I knew Rin had regained her adult mind.

It would be only for a moment.

"Of course."

So I nodded without hesitation.

"You see… I'm going to forget you. Everyone. I'm going to forget everything."

"… Ah."

Rin no longer had Yuuki in her.

Luka, Purple, Shig, even Nina.

"But… but. Only you, Mentor… I want you to remember me."

"I won't forget."

"Good."

She nodded firmly, then exhaled softly, her expression softening.

"I too have something terrible to ask."

I had a feeling. So, uncharacteristically, I responded.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Close your eyes."

"Huh?"

Though puzzled, Rin obeyed.

I feared she might never open her eyes again.

Or that she would forget everything when she did.

But I leaned in and kissed her.

Rin's eyes opened wide, staring at me like glass orbs.

"That's really terrible!"

She immediately blushed and shouted.

"Why would you do that!?"

"Because you wouldn't do it and would never ask, right?"

I teased her, and Rin looked down, silent.

"Or did you forget those feelings too?"

She shook her head slightly.

"You knew?"

"How couldn't I?"

"Because… you're you, Mentor."

It was profoundly regrettable.

I admit I'm a bit dense.

But I'm not foolish enough to believe her risking her life was just out of gratitude.

Not just a student she didn't want to lose.

"I've become quite sly, haven't I?"

"Sly, yes."

If Rin said so, it might be true.

"But… doing this… makes me not want to forget…"

Tears, beautiful like pearls, fell from Rin's eyes.

"Don't forget me. I'll always…"

"That's right."

I wiped her tears and promised. Maybe I am sly, but Rin, who never said anything and didn't let me notice, was sly too.

Then, this balanced the scales.

"It's okay then. It's not really, but… it's okay."

With a tearful smile, Rin spoke.

 

＊　＊　＊

 

I'd had a feeling.

The next morning, I knew it was true.

"Hello, nice to meet you!"

She greeted me with a bright smile upon recognizing me.

"Hello."

I returned her greeting. On the bed, the rings on her tail fin numbered eight.

It was the Rin from before we'd met. Magic arose from one's intent, so this was inevitable.

She'd lost everything and gained everything.

The balance was maintained and her memory would no longer fade.

At the same time, she would never remember us again.

And she would probably never feel the same emotions. But that was okay.

I naturally thought so.

"Can I ask a strange question?"

"What is it?"

Unafraid despite being a stranger, the young girl stared straight at me.

"Why are you so red?"

"Does the red color scare you?"

"No."

Rin shook her head and smiled.

"It's like the evening sun, very pretty."