Undead

Red, blue, yellow.

Beautiful lights glowing in the chests of everyone passing by on the street.

Perhaps it was because I had died once.

My eyes could now see what people called souls.

Before, I could see them if I used magic, but now they were visible without doing anything at all, and I could perceive far more than just their color and brightness.

Large people. Small people. Warm people. Soft people. People with a pleasant scent, and people who carried a beautiful melody. People so sweet they could melt your tongue, and people with a bittersweet wistfulness to them.

It felt as though I could sense them with all five of my senses now.

Daddy called these things souls, but they might have been something slightly different.

The reason being…

"Good afternoon, Innis."

"Mm. Mornin', Chryse… How's your body holdin' up?"

Innis's soul, going about her usual listless routine, was rustling with fine little tremors.

"Great! Thanks to everyone, I'm feeling super lively and full of life! I'm not breathing, though!"

"That joke's not really that funny."

Innis chuckled wryly and flopped onto her sofa, but even as she said that, the rustling in her soul settled and gave way to a slow, gentle pulsing. She'd probably been worried about me.

And so it was: a person's soul was never constant, but rather something that shifted and changed with the movements of their heart.

"By the way, Innis, did something good happen?"

"Huh!? No, um… why do you ask?"

Innis's soul made a strange, creeping movement. Hmm? What was that about…? Her good mood was blindingly obvious from how glossy and lustrous her soul was, at least.

This was something I'd known even before I could see souls, but Innis might look laid-back and self-indulgent, yet she was actually incredibly considerate of others and surprisingly easy to read.

"Good morning, you two. Innis, you're here early for once."

I turned toward the sensation of a refreshing breeze blowing through, and sure enough, there was Ara. His soul was remarkably steady. Honestly, he was far more genuinely easygoing than Innis ever was.

As for Innis, her soul was swinging wildly, flashing red and blue in rapid succession. Her actual self was just yawning and answering "Mornin'" like it was nothing. I was always torn between being impressed by her poker face or stunned by how dramatic her inner turmoil was.

"Goood morning!"

And then there was the most mysterious one of all, Mel. There was a soft poof, and my vision went completely white.

"Chryse, you're sooo cute today too!"

That was because she'd pulled me into a tight hug and smooshed my face into her enormous chest. But even from a distance, the result would have been the same. Mel's soul, much like her lower half, was fluffy and puffy and endlessly white and endlessly soft.

She did bounce around a little when she was happy and droop a little when she was sad, but fundamentally, she was always fluffy and puffy no matter what. Whether that counted as stable or just empty-headed, I honestly couldn't say…

"Hm? What's wrong, Innis?"

Mel tilted her head to the side, adorably curious.

"Why is your heart racing so much?"

And just like that, she blew Innis's poker face wide open in a single shot. She really was something else.

"Wh-what!? My heart isn't racing! Not even a little!"

You're terrible at hiding things. How can you be so good at keeping your expression in check and so utterly hopeless at playing things off? It's adorable.

"Ah. Could this be about yesterday? You disappeared before I could give you a proper answer, so I couldn't respond. I'm sorry, but I still have feelings for Instructor Nina, so I can't return your feelings. Sorry."

Ara, please read the room. I know you're a genuinely good person, and in a way it might even be manly of you, but have you never heard of the word "tact"? Innis's soul is sobbing its eyes out right now.

"N-no… it's fine… I just, um… wanted to get it off my chest, that's all…"

Innis's soul squirmed and wriggled, stealing a glance my way. Ah, I see. That was guilt. My dying had scared her into confessing before she lost her chance. She didn't need to worry about that. But it was very Innis, if you thought about it.

"Wh—!? Innis, you liked Ara!?"

And how had Mel not noticed?

What a truly interesting group of people.

 

＊　＊　＊

 

"I'm hoooome!"

And so, when I arrived back home…

"Welcome back."

"Welcome home."

… the warmest soul I knew and the gentlest soul I knew were there to greet me.

"How was school?"

Daddy's soul. Big and bright and cozy-warm, like the sun.

"Same as always. Oh, but it sounds like Innis finally confessed to Ara and got shot down."

"Oh dear… that's rough."

Though personally, I had a feeling they'd end up together eventually. Innis's soul hadn't given up in the slightest, and honestly, if she were the type to give up that easily, she wouldn't have lived for a hundred years. She was delicate, and yet the core of her was absurdly tough.

"And you? Nothing wrong with you anywhere?"

Mom's soul. Quiet and beautiful and gently kind, like the moon.

"Yep! Fresh off the vine and bursting with energy today! Oh, but my head literally does come off the vine, though!"

"Stop that."

When I tried to demonstrate by pulling my head off, Mom gently put a stop to it. My undead humor didn't seem to land well with anyone, generally speaking.

"Is it really okay to take that off? Your soul won't leak out?"

"It's fine! If it could leak out from something like that, it'd already be pouring out of my mouth and nose and ears."

Daddy nodded with genuine interest at my answer. I'd been hoping to get a laugh, but not that kind.

"Miss Nina!"

I threw my arms around Mom, whose soul still carried a tinge of sadness.

"… What."

"Warming up. The sun's gone down and it's gotten pretty chilly."

My body, being dead, didn't seem to decay as long as my soul was properly inside it, but since my heart wasn't beating, it never warmed up on its own. When I got too cold, I'd stiffen up, so I had Mom warm me like this, but…

"As a hot water bottle, this one's more effective."

… she'd usually say that and pass me off to Daddy. Well, it was true that Daddy was warmer. But still, he was a man, and I was at that age… wait, was I? Could I really call myself "at that age"…?

Well, in any case, even if I was a bit on the small side and also dead, as a lady, there was a certain embarrassment to it. Not that I minded the warmth. Snuggle.

"Also… it's not like… um. You can call me Mom, if you want."

Mom mumbled it like she was chewing on each word, barely letting them escape.

"Huh? Did you say something?"

"… Nothing!"

When I asked her to repeat it, Mom spun away with an irritated huff. I'm sorry. I heard every word perfectly, but her reactions are so much fun that I can't help pretending I didn't. I might be a bad daughter.

"Well, Chryse is a girl after all, so maybe she doesn't like clinging to me?"

"Hm? Not at all! I love you, Daddy."

I did sometimes wonder if it was really okay for a corpse, even an occupied one, to be clinging to him, but Daddy seemed genuinely happy about it, so I decided not to worry about it either.

As I'd watched all sorts of people's souls, I'd gradually come to understand something about these things, these souls or hearts or whatever they were.

That is: a soul isn't made up only of what's inside a person.

People are born with empty souls. The people around them pour all sorts of things into that emptiness, and that is how a soul is formed.

Those who are hated and scorned develop dark, lonely souls.

Those who are loved and cherished develop warm, bright souls.

That was why Daddy and Mom had such warm souls. It was the result of being loved by so many people.

And the ones who had poured the most into each other were the two of them.

The fact that they could still claim they weren't in love was almost impressive, really…

"Oh, that reminds me. Since I'm already dead and all, why don't you just marry me, Daddy? You and Miss Nina aren't married, so it should be fine, right?"

"Huh, well, that's… hmm. I think you'd find a proper partner of your own, Chryse."

"Why do you look like you're actually considering it?"

Well, I supposed things could stay like this for a while longer.

The difference between me and the goblins.

Two horns, and pink hair. And this warm, quiet, round little light in my chest.

I was made of the love these two had poured into me, and for now, I could hold my head high knowing that.