Refrain

 

I had a feeling, long before it happened,

that this day would come.

 

I was in my study that afternoon, lost in a book.

"Mail call!"

The chirpy announcement came with a rustling flurry of envelopes raining down on my head.

I hadn't sensed a thing. Helpless, I could only sit there as letters buried me, my book vanishing beneath the pile.

"You got me, Rin!"

"Your fault for letting your guard down."

She giggled as she helped me pick the letters up. I'd left the window open, so she must have slipped in through there. I hadn't felt her presence at all.

"Honestly, if you're just going to help pick them up, why bother with the prank in the first place?"

"Because when I saw your defenseless back, I just couldn't resist."

Rin stuck her tongue out. She'd already shifted into her childlike form with practiced ease, making it impossible to stay mad at her. She'd never settled into any particular occupation, always drifting from place to place, traveling aimlessly before wandering back home. Recently, though, something resembling actual work had found her.

That something was mail delivery.

It had started when we asked her to carry one of those anti-beast weapons to Shirogane. Sending just the item felt impersonal, so we attached a letter. She came back with a reply. We sent another reply to that, and before we knew it, she'd become a full-fledged courier.

In the outside world, teeming with monsters, beasts, and dragons, surprisingly few people could safely deliver a letter. But Rin could shrink into a tiny mouse to hide from danger or transform into a massive dragon to drive threats away. She'd become quite indispensable to the other villagers as well, not just to me.

The lifestyle suited her, too. Traveling back and forth between the outside villages and Scarlet seemed to agree with her nature, and by now she'd expanded her route well beyond Shirogane, making stops at all sorts of settlements along the way.

"There's one from Teacher Yuuka, too."

"From Yuuka? That's unusual."

I broke the seal on the envelope she handed me. Yuuka had one of my scales, so if she ever needed to reach me, she could simply use it as a conduit for magical communication. This might have been the first time she'd ever sent a proper letter.

"Ah, that's right… It's already been thirty years."

Yuuka's letter said she was finally wrapping up her duties. She must have finished training the people of Shirogane in swordsmanship. She'd come home every few years for visits, but the long absence of my dear little sister figure had left a void nonetheless. Knowing she was coming back for good was welcome news.

"She says she'd like to show us what they've accomplished, and asks that we come visit. She wants Chryse and Nina to come along, too."

"What about me?"

"She probably figures you'll tag along whether she asks or not."

Rin thought about it for a moment, then nodded.

"It's about a day and a half by air. How about we go next time you're making deliveries?"

"Can I ride on your back and take it easy?"

"Be my guest."

"Yes!"

And so, we set off to visit Shirogane once more.

 

＊　＊　＊

 

None of us had the faintest idea what awaited us there.

"Heyyy, long time no see! Big bro, Nina, Chryse!"

Yuuka greeted us cheerfully when we arrived, waving one hand.

With her other hand, she was gently rubbing her very prominently rounded belly.

"Yuuka… uh, have you… gained weight?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

Nina cut through my flustered stammering with her usual composure.

"About eight months along, I'd say."

A single glance at Yuuka's belly was all she needed.

"But… when you were little, you said you'd marry big bro when you grew up…"

"I never said anything like that."

Yuuka laughed off the joke I'd blurted out in my shock. Right, now I remembered. If anything, she'd rejected me unprompted, declaring that she preferred older men but that big bro wasn't an option.

"There was an older man in this village? Is he an elf?"

The realization dawned on me even as I asked. Yuuka's expression turned a touch awkward as she glanced back over her shoulder. Behind her stood a young man with silver hair, looking thoroughly nervous.

"It… it is an honor to meet you. I'm… er, my name is… that is, I've been… seeing Yu… Yuuka, and… I'm terribly, terribly sorry for the late introduction…! My name is Jean!"

"Much to my own dismay, I've been won over by a human boy who is very much my junior…"

Beside the deeply bowing Jean, Yuuka scratched her cheek in embarrassment.

"Yuuka. I'm fairly certain the consequences of bearing a child are the same for half-elves as they are for elves. Do you both understand what that means?"

"Yeah."

Yuuka nodded without a shred of hesitation.

… Well then. If she'd made her peace with it, I had nothing more to say. She was a grown woman who'd lived for centuries.

"I'll make her happier than thousands of years of living could!"

Jean declared, his face blazing with resolve.

… Hmm.

"That's quite the presumptuous claim, young man."

I unleashed my dragon aura and hurled it straight at him. The trick was to fold my coat down into its scale form, seal it with the dragon-ward cloth, then reshape it back into a coat and drape it over myself again. I'd done it so many times I could toggle it on and off at will. Normally, only dragons could perceive dragon aura, but compress it enough and direct it at someone, and that rule no longer applied.

"No matter how you dress it up, you've stolen Yuuka's future. Do you truly believe you can atone for that with a paltry few decades of one small human life?"

The kind of pressure that feels like a direct line to death itself, the same thing all of us had felt when we faced that enormous red dragon. Jean had to be feeling it right now.

"That… is…"

Jean took half a step back.

"That ain't for you to decide! I told Yuuka I'd give her every last day I've got! And I told her I'd take every last day of hers in return! Even if it's paltry to you, I'm staking everything I am on this!"

And he held his ground.

"Now that's backbone."

I laughed and clapped them both on the back.

"Be happy together, you two."

Jean stared at me, completely dumbfounded.

"Come on, big bro, stop bullying my husband."

"If he's the man you chose, this hardly counts as bullying."

After all, he was the one who would be taking my precious little sister's life.

 

＊　＊　＊

 

After that, everything happened in a whirlwind.

They said they hadn't even held a wedding yet, so we scrambled to put one together.

A green dragon, drawn by the flash of dragon aura I'd let slip, came calling, and we watched the people of Shirogane repel it entirely on their own.

Before we knew it, the day of the birth arrived.

As usual, I was deemed surplus to requirements and banished to a separate room while Nina and Chryse handled the delivery. Why Chryse? I wondered briefly, but on reflection it made perfect sense. She could see souls, and hold them in place, keeping them anchored to the body.

Living things can die from the slightest shock, but death isn't always irreversible. Massive blood loss can be fatal, for instance, yet blood can be replenished through transfusion. As long as the soul remains intact, resuscitation is possible. You couldn't ask for a more reliable assistant when lives hung in the balance.

I waited restlessly, my mind drifting back to the day Yuuka herself had been born. That delivery had taken a day and a half. I braced myself for a similar wait… but then the cry of a newborn reached my ears almost right away.

Before long, Nina appeared, swaying slightly on her feet.

"I'm exhausted…"

"Good work."

The shorter delivery didn't seem to have made things any easier on her. When I opened my arms, Nina sank into them without the slightest hesitation. The faint scent of blood and disinfectant stung my nose. She wrapped her arms around my back and held on tight.

She said nothing, but I understood. The joy of a new life entering the world, and the sorrow of knowing that someone you'd spent so long beside was now beginning to slip away. For Nina, who had delivered the baby with her own hands, part of her must have felt as though she'd played a role in killing Yuuka.

"Big bro."

I'd been gently patting Nina's back when I looked up to find Yuuka standing there, cradling her newborn, Jean at her side.

"There's something I want to tell you. You know, all this time, we've been—"

She looked far more energetic than Nina, no doubt thanks to all her training. She started excitedly, then… her gaze fell on Nina, face still buried in my chest.

"Should I have Nina step out for this?"

"Oh, no, it's not… it's not that, exactly…"

Looking uncharacteristically flustered, Yuuka's eyes darted back and forth between me and Nina.

… Ah, I see.

"I know you'll probably say it's about time, or ask if it hadn't always been this way. I haven't told anyone else, since that's exactly what they'd say. But of course you'd notice, Yuuka."

She must have picked up on the subtle shift in the distance between Nina and me. No one else had pointed it out, though whether they genuinely hadn't noticed or had simply chosen not to say anything, I couldn't tell.

"So that's… how it is…"

Yuuka murmured, looking strangely dazed. Jean watched her, equally puzzled.

"So, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

"… No. Never mind. Forget it."

After a moment's thought, Yuuka shook her head.

"I was going to say something like a big thank-you for everything, but it felt too much like a deathbed speech and I didn't want to jinx it. I've still got a whole human lifetime ahead of me."

"That you do. Live a long one, for that little one's sake."

Once Nina was satisfied and stepped away, I leaned in to look at the baby.

Yuuka's bloodline had come through strong. A baby with red hair. Her eyes could barely focus yet, but those deep red irises were already gazing up at me.

"A girl? Have you picked a name?"

"Y-yeah. It's… Yuuki."

A nostalgic name. I smiled. The Swordsaints had a tradition of naming their children with one character changed from their own. I'd had a feeling it might turn out this way.

"I see."

I took Yuuki into my arms, looked down at her face, and offered a prediction befitting a magus.

"This girl is going to grow up beautiful."