SSR Penpen

"I paid back half my debt!"

"…The in-game one?"

"That should've been paid off already, no?"

"Nah, my real-life debt. The meat's crazy, yo."

It had been a few days since Penpen started selling meat. Every cut she'd ordered with SP had shown up without a hitch, and she'd even had enough to spare one as a gift for Merchant-san, the NPC.

"I have no idea how much Penpen owes, but you're really pulling in that much…!?"

"Enough that this could honestly be my main job, yo."

"Seriously…!?"

"Obviously I can't actually make a career out of relying on game prizes, though."

"That's fair."

It'd be even less stable than ad revenue from a video site.

"So I figured I've gotta rake it in while I can… For now, I'm not spending any SP on growth and funneling it all into steak, yo! All-you-can-eat meat!"

"Ugh, enviable in its own way!!"

"Well, if I pay off the debt at this rate, I'll quit. Yeah… Gin-chan, could you take care of the SP Quests today too, please!"

"Understood, ojou-sama."

And with that, Gin-chan headed out to tackle an SP Quest.

"On a slightly related note, Penpen Milk is flying off the shelves, yo!!"

"Penpen Milk… Hoooh. I see how it is."

"That's not what I meant! Not my boobs, the milk we sell at the ranch!"

"I-I know."

Apparently it really was selling like crazy.

"Merchant-san pitched our products to the nobles and royals, so the unit price on the milk went up. I've grown the herd, too!"

"Ho ho."

"A productivity boost."

For reference, milking a cow yields one can-shaped milk tank, and a single tank produces 100 bottles of milk.

"And since we're selling to nobles and royalty, I figured we oughta set ourselves apart from the standard packaging, so I made these, yo!"

"What's this?"

"Hm? Looks like the screenshot icon."

"It's a camera! To take screenshots in-game, you need a physical camera, yo!"

That's right. It was a camera. She must have put it together with Crafting.

"Ho ho. So what about it?"

"Like this!"

She pressed the button on the camera and a click sound effect played. Then, with a whirr, what looked like a screenshot printed on paper came sliding out.

It showed me, Tria. Ooh, cute. Positively an angel. Mhm, the print quality was nice and clean.

"Now, you tweak the settings like so, and so. Then――"

Penpen took the printed screenshot and fiddled with it.

"Craft, Milk!"

Pop! Out came a bottle of milk. And the screenshot from earlier was now affixed as the label.

"Yay! Tria Milk, yo!"

"Ohh! I see, this is one of those, huh? The 'Made by me' producer label!"

"When Penpen says 'I made this,' it sounds awfully suggestive."

Don't say it out loud. Sure, I was thinking it too, but…

"So basically, I want you guys to take pictures of me, yo!"

"Got it. A Penpen photoshoot, then. Let's put together packaging that'll move units."

"Got it, got it. A Penpen photoshoot (suggestive), right!? Equip the cow-print bikini!"

"…I'm leaving this to Tria-shi, yo!"

"Why!?"

C'mon, Alto. Go too blatant and it'll actually hurt sales. This is basically a freebie tucked in with a food product.

"Since it's food, going for ero appeal is a no-go, yo. The quality alone is enough for this milk to stand on its own."

"Urgh! True, with novelty items, people are satisfied after buying just one… Sure, that works for wide-and-shallow sales, but if you want repeat customers, you've gotta play it straight."

"Exactly, Alto."

If anything, ero clashes with legitimate food products.

Women and children buy these things, y'know? Get too blatant and the complaints will come pouring in. What a tone-deaf sales pitch.

"Alright then, let's snap her doing ranch work and pick out the best ones."

"Please do!"

"Leave it to me. Okay, first one. A front-on shot."

Click. Penpen in her usual overalls.

After that, I also photographed her stabbing hay with a big pitchfork and milking the cows.

"…Hmm, kinda plain."

"This kinda thing is supposed to be plain. Plain means it's been refined and gone mainstream."

It's not an art piece, so plain is best.

That said――

"…One cow-print bikini shot wouldn't hurt, though, eh, Penpen?"

"Hm, if Tria-shi's saying that, you've gotta have some kinda angle, yo?"

"SSR―― the ultra-rare that very occasionally slips into the mix. People are drawn to that sort of thing."

"You mean… like a gacha!! I see, if that's the angle, that changes everything, yo!!"

That's right.

SSRs strip… That's just how it is!!

"Alright, I'm taking over camera duty from here on!!"

"Well, if it's a jackpot SSR, I can buy that. What drop rate should we set it at, hmm?"

In the end, the SSR design they settled on was a label of Penpen hauling a milk tank in a cow-print bikini top.

…

And so Penpen confidently went off to deliver the labeled milk to Merchant-san, but…

"Um, I really don't think we need this sort of thing…"

"Eh, you don't need it!? It's an SSR, yo!? Won't it sell at a premium to the nobles!? Won't they buy it by the case!?"

"…If they were to occasionally slip into an order… noblemen with wives and children would find themselves in a rather awkward spot, I'm afraid."

"Ahh."

A refreshing morning would, without question, turn into a frosty one.

"…Then please move them through a separate channel, yo."

"Well, if that works for you…"

…Apparently they ended up being accepted, but only in limited quantities.