Boss Room Recon

Fending off the occasional respawned monster along the way, we arrived at the deepest part of the dungeon.

The boss room's massive door. Way too grand for the cave-like surroundings, it looked completely out of place.

Peeking inside, the room opened into a stone-paved, stone-walled hall. No sign of a boss-like monster, though…

"So this is the dungeon's boss room."

"Yep, yo. I came this far during my scouting run, yo. Probably the type where the boss spawns once you step inside, yo."

Soloing all the way down here… I thought, but even Tria-chan could probably pull it off at this point. Just the getting-down-there part, anyway.

Unlike Alto who's ranged, she's melee, so wiping out fleeing monsters would be tough for her.

…If we're talking sneaking, Miitei-chan could probably manage it too. She'd blend right in with the monsters and just waltz through even if there were a Monster House.

"…Uuugh."

"You okay, Prince? Here, drink this potion. It'll make you feel better."

"Much obliged…"

The palanquin had been rocking like crazy, so the prince was predictably out of commission.

"Prince is in rough shape, so let's take a short break before we challenge the boss."

"Much obliged…"

"Don't mention it, bro."

"I don't believe we're brothers…"

Oh come on, don't say that. We bonded over appreciating the same pair of boobs! Right!? I saw you! Staring through the little rear window of the palanquin, eyes glued to that cleavage!!

Nika-chan was bouncing like crazy!!

"Speaking of which, Alto-shi. Does Nika-chan not have a bra on? That's gonna damage her Cooper's ligaments, y'know. They'll start to sag."

"Huh? If it's damage, healing magic or potions can fix it, so she can bounce all she wants, yo? Besides, it's a game, so there's no need to worry about that stuff, yo."

"Well, yeah, fair point."

The theory that game girls' chests never sag because healing magic also repairs Cooper's ligament damage. Huh. Yeah, I can see it.

"Nika-chan, do little jumps, yo!"

"Wha!? Y-yes, Alto-sama!"

"Oh oh oh! Eroticism that juuust barely doesn't get flagged as lewd, yo! Feast your eyes, you lot, yo!"

"Hell yeah! Woo-woo! Bless!"

"Yaaay! Little sister boobies bouncing all over the plaaace!"

Me, Alto, and Miitei-chan surrounded Nika-chan, cheering and hollering.

Oh, but I'll keep potions on standby! Just in case! Big boobs are valuable assets, after all!

"What are you making her do, honestly. Bras affect athletic performance too by keeping things from bouncing, you know?"

"Sure, locking them down with a bra is better for movement from a physics engine standpoint, yo. …But! There's romance in it, yo! Boobs that feel hard through the clothes? We've got enough of that in real life, yo!"

"Wait, boobs feel hard through clothes!? Is that the Ethics Filter!?"

"Huh?"

"Yo…"

W-why did you both go quiet!?

"…"

"…"

What's with those tender gazes!? Stop looking at me with those "oh, you poor thing, you just don't know" eyes!?

"…Tria-dono."

"Y-yeah. What's up, Prince?"

"Well, how to put this. If you'd like, I could introduce you to a clothing shop… no, to the high-class courtesan house that serves as the royal family's boudoir instructor? As a customer, of course."

"Gee, thanks!? But you ain't my bro anymore! Waaah!"

Like it'd even work! The game would just skip past it! Dammit!

 

＊　＊　＊

 

Break over.

Nothing happened. Got it?

"Alrighty, let's go challenge the boss then, yo."

"What do we know about the boss?"

"Apparently it's a fire-element magma giant? I've got plenty of disposable weapons prepared to counter it."

"It's not merely fire-element. It's an Elementarion… a nation-destroyer."

Oh, so it's fire-elem…

"An Elementarion… Hmm, a formidable foe?"

"I mean, I should have already given you the intel during the preparation stage. Part of the reason I specifically requested you Spirit-Possessed was because of this. …Can you defeat it?"

Hard to say without seeing it firsthand.

"If it looks hopeless, we'll just run, yo."

"Agreed. First, let's check if there's some 'you can't escape once the boss fight starts' thing going on. Miitei-chan, Clone!"

""Done!""

Good girl, good girl. Let me pat both their heads, one hand each.

For reference, the difference between Clone and Fission: taking hits as a Clone doesn't consume body mass. Only MP. But Clones are weaker than Fission copies and come with more restrictions, like the spirit not being able to directly control them.

For a suicide recon mission like this, though, Clone is the way to go.

"Alright then, go for it, Clone Miitei-chan. Go!"

"Roger! Miitei, heading ouuut!"

"Ah, wait!"

The prince tried to stop her, but Clone Miitei-chan was already through the door… SLAM!! It shut behind her.

Right, automatic doors…

"The boss room door closes on its own and won't open until the fight is over!"

"Huh, really? So if the boss is unbeatable, that means zero survivors?"

And if everyone died, how did anyone bring back info about it!? One of those classic tropes, basically.

Like a horror story where nobody supposedly came back alive, yet somehow a detailed account exists.

"…If you use this before entering, the door won't close."

"Hm? Prince, what's that triangle thing? A cheese prop…? Some kind of ritual item?"

"It's just a doorstop?"

A brute-force physical solution. That actually works…?