Clifftop Shell Toss

The cliff face was sheer, seemingly impossible to scale… but that was only the case for a human.

We had Slime Climber Miitei-chan on our side! Even if the wall was perfectly vertical, even if there was a slight overhang, Miitei-chan could climb it with ease!

So with Tria-chan held in her arms, Miitei-chan went pitter-patter up the wall and reached the top without breaking a sweat.

"We're heeere!"

"Nice work, Miitei-chan."

"Ahaha, piece of cake! I'm not even tired～"

It helped that Tria-chan was small, but come to think of it, couldn't I have just stored her in the Home to make things even easier? That only occurred to me after the fact.

… Ahem, moving on!

"We've arrived at the clifftop! The stage is set! And what has been drawn forth for today's competition? Giant Baby Turtle mass projectiles!"

"Spirit-sama, what's that about?"

"Oh, just narration. Commentary's a staple at sporting events, you know. Come on, Miitei-chan, you on standby? Ready?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright, go stand over there. When I raise my hand, drop the shell."

"Okaaay!"

Now then, here we have our Baby Turtle! This will serve as today's ball.

The target: the fortress waaay down below the cliff. It looks tiny from up here, but can they actually land a hit? With luck playing a huge factor, this is shaping up to be quite the sport.

"And we're off! The Clifftop Shell Toss has begun! First throw, Miitei steps up to the mound! Here's the windup, aaand…!"

"Ahahah! Hyaah!"

"She lets it fly!"

Less of a windup and more of a full-body charge to shove it off the edge, but hey, it counts.

BANGCLANGBANGBANGCLANGBANGBANG! Bouncing off the cliff face on the way down, the Baby Turtle's shell plummeted toward the fortress with tremendous force. Despite being called a "baby," the thing was about the size of a rolling boulder trap from a certain adventure movie.

With the Baby Turtle's corpse still inside, it made for one hell of a mass weapon. A direct hit would be devastating.

The shell struck the cliff walls at irregular angles, bouncing wildly. It landed in an open area, but its momentum carried it straight into a building, demolishing the whole thing.

"Spirit-sama, Spirit-sama! How many points was that!?"

"Hmm, 50 points! That's a high score!"

"Yaaay, high score!"

"Spirit-sama! Tria next! Tria wants a turn too!"

"Oh, then it's a player substitution! Let me transfer controls to Miitei and… there."

Second throw! After the swap, Tria steps up. She winds back her leg and… boots the shell right off the edge!

BANGCLANGBANGBANGCLANGBANGBANGBANG! It bounced around wildly, and this time… WHAM! A direct hit on a building!

Ooh, and soldiers in black armor came pouring out, causing a commotion.

"Hmph, just as calculated. What do you think, Spirit-sama?"

"50 points for you too! Alright, let's try two at once next. Whoever's shell bounces around the longest wins!"

"Let's go!"

Throws three and four! Three, two, one, GO… WHOOOOSH!!

Wait, the rules just changed? Who cares about the details!!

 

＊　＊　＊

 

So, yeah.

We got a little carried away and ended up lobbing nearly every Baby Turtle shell in my inventory off the cliff.

I mean, they didn't break even from this height… I figured we could just collect them afterward…

On the flip side, Tria-chan being able to smash a shell barehanded was something else entirely. But the shells were probably just resilient against broad, distributed impacts. Probably. They'd survived being sent flying by the Great Turtle, after all. So yeah. Surely that was it.

Unsurprisingly, quite a few soldiers had evacuated outside the fortress, and the ones still inside were now keeping a wary eye on the clifftop.

Well, of course they were. If stuff kept raining down from above, you'd naturally look up. Not like they could get up here, though.

We'd had Miitei-chan carry us up, after all.

What I hadn't expected was that the soldiers who'd evacuated took one look at the fallen Baby Turtles and fled in sheer terror. In the opposite direction from the village we'd come from, no less.

Wait, those are dead, you know? Why are you that terrified? I caught myself thinking in Kansai dialect without even realizing it.

Maybe I could hear what they were saying if I listened carefully…

"Oh. Let me bring the Home out. I need Valeria-san to verify the quest status."

"Right!"

I deployed the Home and had Miitei-chan go fetch Valeria-san.

"… I just got into bed… Um, what? Huh, where are we?"

"Top of the cliff. See? Over there's the enemy base."

"When did you climb up here? And more importantly, that base is clearly devastated… and the garrison's routing."

"We got a little carried away while messing around."

Valeria-san pressed her hand to her temple and squeezed out a "… I see."

"We couldn't wipe them all out, but would you say this is enough for the quest?"

"… More than enough. This canyon fortress was supposed to be impregnable… I never imagined it could fall this far…"

"Oh, great. Well, I'm gonna go collect the turtles."

"Spirit-sama! Leave it to me! I'll go grab them!"

"Nah, let's just head down normally. The enemies all took off anyway."

"Can I snack on some along the way?"

"… In moderation, okay?"

With the quest status confirmed, I put Valeria-san back in the Home and had Miitei-chan take us down the cliff. I was going to put Tria-chan in the Home too, but it turned out I couldn't store the Home while she was inside. So Valeria-san only.

"Alright, wall descent time～"

"Easy peasy!"

"Thanks, Miitei."

Miitei-chan released her Mimicry (Human), wrapped around Tria-chan's waist with a wobble, and started descending the near-vertical rock face one sticky step at a time… W-wait, too fast too fast too fast! Are we falling!?

"Sorry～, the sand made me slip!"

"Good grief. Spirit-sama, switch with me. I'll land on that intact building's roof. Miitei, just hold on to me."

"O-okay!?"

"Okaaay."

We swapped, and Tria-chan immediately kicked off the wall with a bang, altering her fall trajectory. True to her word, she landed right on the roof of an intact building. The barely-surviving structure promptly collapsed under the impact, but Tria-chan leapt off in an instant, clearing the collapse and sticking a second landing.

A-amazing. Was this an action movie?

"Hmph. Tria can handle a cliff like this without a scratch now. Pretty impressive, right?"

"Fall damage in this game is brutal…! You're amazing, Tria-chan!"

"Yay, I got praised. All that training paid off."

Tria-chan gave a proud little snort.

No but seriously, I thought we were gonna die. That was way too clo…!

"Miitei-chan gets her snacking privileges revoked as a penalty."

"Whaaat!? I-I'm sorry, Spirit-samaaaa!"

And so it was decided.