Poison Magic and Spices

Since Summer currently works as my dedicated maid, she knows about my Pota — er, Poison Attribute.

Summer had a question.

"Come to think of it, Ojou-sama. Spicy things are poison, right?"

"Oh my. Are they?"

"Yes. Because they're spicy, right? That's proof the body rejects them! In other words, poison! They make your mouth hurt!"

"… Now that you mention it, that might be so."

Chili peppers, for example. Getting them in your eyes hurts terribly.

That's undeniably a harmful effect on the body. In other words, poison!

"So, could you use your magic to produce this spice in greater quantity?"

"… Spices! Fufufu, Summer, you do have flexible ideas, don't you?"

Smirking, Koleha accepted some peppercorns.

And then produced it — pepper powder! She could. She could just produce it at will!

It cost some magical power and left her a little tired, but she felt like she could still produce plenty more.

(Is Poison Magic perhaps actually a cheat…?)

Koleha suddenly felt chills at her own talent — or rather, at how loose Poison Magic's definition was.

Come to think of it, oxygen and carbon dioxide are 'poisons' at certain concentrations. Koleha knew that. Those elements were ubiquitous on the surface, so there was no trouble finding catalysts.

Pepper was one thing, but she could likely create salt as well. After all, both Na and Cl in isolation are poisons. And she knew that too much salt is harmful to the body.

So she had salt brought and tried producing that as well. It came out.

"Whoa, you can produce salt too!?"

"Pepper is actually the harder one… Together they're salt-and-pepper. I bet they'd be delicious on meat."

"Ojou-sama's magic is amazing…! A magician of the dinner table…!"

"… Fufu."

This was usable. Koleha smirked.

In her mind, a terrifying plan began to take shape.

1. Sell spices cheaply

2. Deliver a massive blow to existing merchants. Shops go under

3. Suddenly halt the supply of salt-and-pepper

4. Salt-and-pepper disappears from the city, and bland meals spread

5. While watching that unfold, eat delicious food seasoned with spices

— Yes, it would be delicious!! In two senses!!

Also, spices were close to being considered luxury goods. Not having them wasn't immediately fatal. Well, that didn't apply to salt, so she could let that circulate in moderation.

Better yet, she could use "I'm not feeling well right now, so I can only produce this much salt" as a cover… what a perfect plan.

Fufufu… kukuku… Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!! In her heart, Koleha executed a villainess's triple-tiered laugh.

"Say, Summer. Do you think this will sell?"

"Yes! It will, without a doubt, Ojou-sama!"

"Indeed! Spices are light and sell at high prices! Summer, I command you: go sell this salt and pepper! Ten percent is your share!"

"Aye-aye! With cash, anything is possible! One, two, three — Ojou-sama!"

Half-squinting at the odd chant, Koleha entrusted Summer with the salt and pepper. She also gave her a hastily written letter of permission stating, "I, Koleha, have authorized her to sell this."

And so began Koleha's doubly delicious scheme.

 

＊ ＊ ＊

 

"Summer? I certainly told you to go sell it, but what's this?"

"Yes! I sold it at five times the going price!! Here you go!!"

Summer returned with a bulging coin pouch.

That was obviously a huge profit.

"My, my. I assumed we'd sell below market to rake in money… How did you manage to sell it at five times the going price?"

"They asked where it came from, but we're keeping Poison Magic a secret, so I only said, 'Ojou-sama's homemade salt-and-pepper'… Then an auction started on the spot and, one thing led to another, it sold for five times."

Even Koleha's eyes widened at this.

"Why such a price!?"

"Ojou-sama, thanks to spreading those medicinal herbs, you're incredibly popular among the townsfolk."

In other words, a premium for 'Ojou-sama Koleha' had been added to the product itself.

Also, since it was known that Summer served under Koleha, she was trusted. Even that hastily written letter of permission had been unexpectedly effective.

"… This way, I can't damage the market price!"

"Eh, Ojou-sama. Are you going to produce enough salt-and-pepper to move the market price? Selling by the ton would be tough for me alone, you know?"

"… "

Even if producing salt-and-pepper hadn't tired her much, that was only for quantities that fit in a pouch.

And the ones who could buy spices in bulk were the merchants who already handled them, and selling cheaply to them wouldn't have much effect. To make a real impact, she'd have to produce enough to replace the producers entirely.

Also, given that the meals on otome-game dates wouldn't possibly be bad, salt-and-pepper and other spices were fairly widely distributed. To deal a blow to that, kilograms would be nowhere near enough.

In other words, production by the ton was essential. And on a regular basis.

That was impossible! She'd die of magical depletion…!

Thus, Koleha's doubly delicious scheme collapsed, and peace at the dinner table was preserved.

"Tch. It can't be helped. We'll leave it at that for now… As for your reward, Summer, I'll pay in salt-and-pepper in kind!"

"On the contrary, please do pay in kind. I'll make it my family treasure!"

She'd intended it as a tease, but Summer was delighted.

"Family treasure? Aren't you an orphan? You plan to keep some salt-and-pepper until you get married?"

"But of course! Because it's Ojou-sama's salt-and-pepper! I'll make it our treasure for generations! I'll have my children guard it! And on the celebration of adulthood, I'll permit them one pinch!"

"O-oh."

A little nonplussed, Koleha nevertheless produced salt-and-pepper and gave it to Summer.

It was a pouch of decent size; if they took one pinch per generation, it would likely last to the very end of the line.

"Ah, and put half in my coffin! If I don't have children, I'll be the end of the line and get it all to myself!"

"Sounds like it'll make the corpse delicious."

"The afterlife being delicious thanks to Ojou-sama's salt-and-pepper… perfection!"

"Summer, are you okay in the head? Are you tired from studying? You're my hands and feet; I can't have you anything short of perfect."

"Aaaaaah! Thank you for your concern! My fatigue just vanished!!"

Koleha was genuinely worried about her maid.

As a final note: the salt-and-pepper sold at this time had an unusually high salt purity, and for various reasons later came to be enshrined as 'Holy Salt-and-Pepper' — but that is another story.