I Pitched Toy Guns to a Trading Company

Victory is mine. Gahaha.

I took the toy guns to the trading company Dea-kun introduced me to, and I got a very enthusiastic response — "Wonderful!" "We absolutely must carry these!" "For exclusive rights, we could offer this much…" — and after politely declining the exclusivity offer (on the grounds that it was a joint development with dwarves), the deal came together without a hitch.

"Actually, I'm an alum of the gun club myself."

"For real, senpai? … In that case, allow me to throw in one of these custom-modified models as a little gift."

"Oho…! That's the best, you. How about it — why not just become my bride? I'll make sure you never want for money your whole life long."

"Ah, I'm more into girls, and I've already got five wives, so—"

"Hahaha, shot down. But that excuse of yours needs work — it's so obviously a lie."

"Huh? It's not a lie, though? I've got five dwarf wives, and they're actually the ones who made most of these guns."

"… You're amazing, you know that!?"

And so the deal closed without issue. Every month, an amount based on sales would be deposited into my Merchants' Guild account.

"By the way, I'm also thinking of branching out into auxiliary parts and modification kits. Customize the look to your own taste."

"What…? This could turn into a massive market. For now, let me get in touch with the other gun club alumni. Oh, and let me personally buy units for myself and my son. Separate from the gift you just gave me — I want to purchase those too."

"Thanks for your business～."

Maaan, all I have to do now is leave the rest to them, so this is easy!

"Oh, by the way. Since I'm here, I've also got a product like this."

"What's this…? Oh, this one's a Magic Tool?"

"Up until now I'd only been wholesaling it to a friend's shop, but with the guns, my mass-production setup just got up and running, you see."

"A massage device… oho."

"Basically, please use it for stiff shoulders. Anything beyond that is, well, outside the warranty… We take the stance that we can't be involved in wherever a customer chooses to use it. Oh, and we've put care into making it waterproof."

"I see. Let me carry this one too, then."

Since the opportunity was there, I went ahead and pitched the wand massager as well.

With this, a future in which 'erofus' are born from elves… the dream is making such progress!

If only the merchant had been a woman, I could've done a live demonstration!

 

*

 

So. With all that, the deal was done and I headed home.

I could've just teleported back with Spatial Magic, but since I had the chance, I decided to walk and take a little detour on the way.

Specifically, I'd gotten an introduction to a naughty shop in the elf town.

It seemed erofus already existed here. Human desire is something elves share too, apparently…!

"Wait for me, Mr. Erofu! I'm coming for you…!"

Whoo-hoo! I've got money! And so I skipped my way to the shop — only to find it utterly run-down.

… Run-down.

It looked like a battered haunted house… Whyyy???

"… Oh my? Miss, did you need something from us? You don't look like a debt collector, though."

"Um. I came as a customer, looking to have some fun, but… it's pretty run-down, huh?"

"My! Is that so, customer? Come in, come in."

I was invited in. It was an introduction from a trustworthy merchant Dea-kun vouched for, so I figured it was at least a legit establishment.

"You sure? I only want to play with girls, you know?"

"At this point, I'll take a woman, no complaints!"

"Why's the place this run-down, anyway?"

"Ngh."

The shopkeeper poked her two index fingers together awkwardly as she spoke.

"… In this town, hardly anyone uses a shop like this."

"Huh, really?"

"It's an academy city."

Now that she mentioned it, an academy city meant the population was mostly students — minors.

That said, there were teachers and shop staff and so on, so it wasn't like there'd be no demand…

"The teachers are mostly more interested in knowledge than in carnal desire — prim and proper. And elves have pretty low sex drives to begin with…"

"Ahh. So that's the situation, huh."

"Travelers rarely come through, either… and even when they do, they're students, so I have to turn them away."

Hm? I'm a student too, though?

… Come to think of it, I was on my way back from the business meeting, so I wasn't in my school uniform. Alright, mum's the word!

Oh, but since I'm here…

"Hey, hey, I'd like you to wear a school uniform — is that doable? Oh, can I bring my own?"

"Huh? Even though we'll just take it off anyway?"

"No, I won't take it all off. But there's a certain mood to leaving the clothes half-stripped and strewn about. Oh, and maybe put on glasses too? It gives an intellectual vibe."

"My eyesight's fine, and the clothes'll get dirty."

"Fashion glasses are fine! And just clean it up with magic, c'mon. Elf-style."

After that, we played out the scenario of students sneaking off to a love hotel after school to get all lovey-dovey, and the elf onee-san spotted a business opportunity, going "This is it!" — it was on track to become the new standard for this elf academy city… but she got chewed out before it could. That stays between us, though.

The elf officials are super uptight!

I mean, a perfect copy of an actual school uniform was, admittedly, going too far. Yeah, of course she got chewed out for that.