A Story Where Nothing Really Happens

"I was the weakest…"

Having been thoroughly beaten in the practice matches, Shikina seemed to have completely lost her confidence.

I don't think I can help her when it comes to combat training, so I'll leave that to those four. She'll get stronger eventually just by joining their practice matches.

Even if she doesn't get stronger, that's not my problem. Sure, I became her master, but nobody specified master of what.

In other words, if I feel like it, I could just claim to be a master of napping and tell her to go sleep!

"Don't worry, you don't need to be strong. You came to learn from me, right?"

"Now that you mention it, that is true!"

And with that, she bounced right back. Her ability to stay positive is a bit enviable.

 

＊ ＊ ＊

 

Afterward, I introduced her to Rei and the others.

She was surprised to see Doll sitting at the reception counter, the aesthetically-designed golem possessed by the ring succubus Neru, but she managed to greet her normally.

I was relieved she didn't immediately try to cut her down for being a monster.

"Nerune-dono and Neru-dono have similar names! I might mix them up!"

Ah, she just says things like that out loud. It seems Shikina is the type to blurt out whatever she's thinking.

That's probably part of why she was forced to resign from the knight order.

"By the way, Master… is Shikina-san going to be a new body pillow candidate? Not that we've ever been called upon, though…"

Also, according to Rei, they could hear Shikina's shouting from earlier in the dining room too.

… In other words, most of the inn's guests probably heard it. Uwah, there's going to be more rumors now. Like "Brutal Village Chief" or "Perverted Village Chief."

"… I have no idea what you're talking about. Besides, the way you phrased that makes it sound like you and the others want to be body pillows too?"

"Ah, no, um. Yes… wait, no, um, well. This might be presumptuous of me, but there's still the matter of order, or rank…"

Wait, does she actually want to be my body pillow?

… Being a body pillow is the top of the hierarchy? What kind of situation is this? I only use Niku because we go way back and she's convenient. It has nothing to do with hierarchy.

"Master Kehma, this means you must make Rei-dono and the others into body pillows as well, or you won't live up to your name! Rei-dono looks like she'd be pleasant to hold, and she has a nice girly scent. Kinue-dono seems soft and fluffy, with an appetite-inducing scent like freshly baked bread. Nerune-dono is also simple and cute… though she smells like medicine. And since Neru-dono is cool to the touch and smells of iron, you could have exciting dreams of the battlefield. You might get crushed if she rolls over in her sleep though."

"Could you please be quiet?"

"Sir! I shall refrain from saying anything unnecessary!"

You've already said plenty… Seriously.

"This might be a misunderstanding, but I generally have no intention of using anyone other than Niku as my body pillow."

"Yes, I understand."

Rei bowed her head smoothly. By the way, I said "generally" because Rokuko sometimes comes over.

Since the partner declaration, she occasionally comes by bringing the Divine Comforter.

But I'm afraid of divine punishment, so I don't use the Divine Comforter. I just stroke it and enjoy its supreme, squishy texture… It's torture though. Spare me, please.

Rokuko confidently says "Partners are OK!" but she has no basis for that.

"Come to think of it, Nerune-dono is Wataru-sensei's sweetheart! She has a simple cuteness to her! I can see why Wataru-sensei likes her!"

"Heeeh. Is that so?"

"It is! In the imperial capital, he was often pestered by all these overdressed self-proclaimed ladies. I was even used as bug repellent a few times because of my appearance."

"I see. Shikina-san, please tell me more about that."

"Understood!"

Oh? Is Nerune actually… interested in Wataru?

No, she's probably thinking of using this as blackmail material. Nerune looks like an innocent country girl, but she's actually pretty calculating.

She'll definitely squeeze new information about the imperial capital and the hero out of this. Ah, how delicious.

And so, Wataru, fresh from enjoying the hot spring, was promptly toyed with by Nerune.

My condolences.

 

＊ ＊ ＊

 

"Haah, today was incredibly educational…"

"Is that so? That's good."

At the end of the day, I was leisurely drinking tea in the inn's employee break room.

It had a Japanese-style layout with a kotatsu on tatami, which was surprisingly comfortable.

Well, it's not the season for a full kotatsu right now, so it just had a thin cover draped over it instead of the proper futon. The heating function was off, of course. Maybe I should add a cooling function instead.

"Well then, I should head back to my room and get some sleep…"

"Oh, you're going to bed? I shall accompany you."

Just as I got out from under the kotatsu, Shikina did the same.

"… Huh? Why?"

That's strange. I definitely prepared a room for Shikina at the inn, so what is she talking about?

"To learn your every move by sleeping in the same room as Master, of course."

"Please don't say that like it's the most natural thing in the world."

"But that tiny o… Kuroinu-dono is allowed?"

With that, Shikina pointed at Niku, who was standing beside me.

Niku is allowed. Because she's Niku. She's my precious, precious body pillow after all!

"Besides, I heard from Kuroinu-dono that 'I got stronger after I started sleeping with Goshujin-sama'…!"

It's true that Niku has gotten stronger over the past year or so, but there's no causal relationship with sleeping with me… right?

It's basically just thanks to the Cloth Golem, right?

I glanced at Niku. She nodded, whether she understood what I meant or not.

Yeah, she definitely doesn't get what I'm trying to say.

"More importantly, Rokuko told you not to enter the Village Chief's house. Give up."

"Sir! Come to think of it, she did say that. I shall give up!"

With that, Shikina returned to the room I'd prepared for her.

She gave up so readily that I almost suspected her ridiculous honesty was just an act covering some scheme.

… By the way, she really did give up. The next day came without any incident.